Hey everyone! We had some unfortunate events happen yesterday and it made me realize I should write a post about it.
I will always share the uplifting and positive things in our life but I think being transparent is just as important to educate others.
Yesterday on the way to speech AJ had a runny #2 accident in the car. Yes, you read that right and yes I was like “Oh my gosh!”
To set the scene, it was cold, raining and I was driving on a typically congested road in our town. AJ had unbuckled and started crying. I instantly smelled the funk and knew.
I had just picked him up from class and was about five minutes away from his speech building. I couldn’t pull over safely so I had to drive a few blocks with him unbuckled before I could help him. I finally pulled over by our vet and went to work.
Luckily I am short and we have a big car. We originally bought an Expedition because AJ is tall and I know he’s going to be with me for years to come as he grows into a young adult. I am so glad we did because the vehicle size was a life saver yesterday.
I was able to hop over and start cleaning him up. If you follow our page, you know AJ hates wet shoes. Its been raining so I had two towels in my car. I used one to wipe up his seat and the other to lay on it for him to sit on.
Our middle seat folds down so I was able to get him to the trunk area to change him. I had two bench cushions that I used to make a makeshift changing pad and went to town taking him a wipe bath. Get this, I only had one pair of shorts in the car. OF ALL THE TIMES TO NOT HAVE SPARE CLOTHES!
After all the drama of AJ crying, me sweating trying to clean an upset 72lb 6year old and getting him back in the seat, we made it to speech.
I had already called his therapist and gave her a heads up. She had a variety of large diapers available. AJ showed up in shorts, no boxers, a jacket and no shirt. It was a wild ride to get him seated to make it there safely.
I had to call Joe at work – which I HATE doing – and spoke to someone to have him call me as soon as possible. I was like “Look, I’m down the street and our son diarrhea’d in the car; I need him to get me clothes.” The person was like “Alright, sounds important, I will go find him” lol.
Never a dull moment in our life.
Joe was able to get off work (we were down the street) to take us some clothes and swap car seats.
THANK GOODNESS!
AJ was a resilient champ and went to speech no problem after the drama. That’s huge to recover from a traumatic incident for him. It’s traumatic and embarrassing for him just like it would be for any kid. He hates being dirty and never soils himself.
This brings me to the not so glorious truth.
Many families with children or loved ones who have complex needs will have to endure potty accidents, hand feeding, “baby things” longer than typical families. We will have to bathe our loved ones longer, brush their teeth, clean their bottoms, shop the baby toy isle and search the high heavens for Velcro shoes and chest clipped backpacks.
This is not the truth for all families, but it’s the truth for most families who have a loved one with severe needs. Will it be a life long thing? No telling.
All I can do as his mom is help him gain his freedom through independence and be there to help him when he has accidents.
He wasn’t able to shout from the back “MOM I NEED TO USE THE POTTY!” like a verbal child might. He tried his best to be a big kid and wait until we made it to speech.
I will continue to uplift him and give him independence via life skills. If that takes months or years, I will be there. Just like any other parent would.
Parenting is hard; children are resilient.
AJ has taught me so much patience in life and made me less of a judgmental snob.
Next time you see those adult diapers or the big kid nighttime pull ups in the diaper isle, don’t you dare think “why the heck would a big kid need diapers!?”
Autism life is its own world; special needs families live in a different universe. We see items in the store that we understand but someone not in this world may not.
On this topic let me share my vent on a meme I always see circulating. Its a heavy set woman pushing a heavy set child, maybe 8, in a basket. The meme varies from joking about weight, broken baskets and so on. What I see in this meme is a child who may elope(run away), be overweight because of medications they take, a child who may not be at the cognitive level of her size.
Is this the truth behind the picture? I don’t know.
I see this because I am aware of a secret world many are scared to talk about. A world where others around us know very little about. A world where we need more accommodations as our children grow into young adults. Complex needs do not stop at elementary age. So that is why you will see “grown ass kids” in baskets.
Mind your own and shop; don’t stare or take pictures.
I share my thoughts to open up conversation, not to tear anyone down. We can’t expect others to understand or accept something that is not brought up or seen. So when you see a mom changing a 72lb boy in the womens bathroom, pushing him in a stroller or letting him have his pick of a toy in the infant isle, do not judge. Instead, admire that parents bravery at educating the public on what another “normal” may look like.
It’s a scary thing to do in this oh so critical society we live in.
Will we do “baby things” a little longer? Maybe. That’s the not so fun or glorious truth. It’s my family’s truth. If it’s your truth, you aren’t alone. We take things one day at a time here and are proud to welcome others in our world.
If there is any blog you share with friends, please let it be this one. This one is important and covers topics of our hidden world.
Sorry for the intense blog. I will work on a fun blog tonight about Lucina’s progress :).
Until next blog ❤
RAISING OPPOSITES 