Week 5&6 Emotions, Teletherapy & House Drama

Hey friends!

I know it’s been a solid week or two since the last blog, it’s been hectic over here. We didn’t do anything for week five of self-isolation/distancing except for survive. I keep it honest and that’s the truth, no homework, watched movies and just survived. It wasn’t the most productive week, but I think the kids and I needed it.

AJ was dealing with a lot of big emotions that week which led to some behaviors. He would put on a dramatic scene from a movie (i.e. Simba passed out in the desert after being chased away) and would drop the tablet, run to the other side of the room and cry with his ears covered. He would also do this with scenes from Inside Out containing Anger and Sadness.

I ended up taking away all screens and had a quiet house until I felt AJ was not overstimulated. During days like this, I don’t scold AJ because I know he’s just having a hard time processing everything around him. I just tell him that right now these things are upsetting so we need to take a break.

At the time, I didn’t connect the dots that AJ was trying to express his emotions. It is something he has an extremely hard time doing. Yes, he has his tablet but teaching emotions and feelings is next level hard for us. He can’t grab his tablet to tell me “I’m sad/mad/sick” and so on.

It wasn’t until I put him to bed and spoke to my mom that it clicked. I got tears in my eyes because I realized that he was using the movie scenes to tell me/express he was sad and hurt. He deliberately put on scenes that made him cry – expressing his sadness. AJ has always gravitated to movies, but this was the first time he used relevant movie scenes to let his feelings out, like purposely crying to feel better. That is HUGE!

I felt awful that I didn’t see what he was doing in the moment. I think in the moment I was just trying to help him feel better by eliminating what I saw to be the trigger. What he really needed was a hug and to be told “it’s okay to be sad, mom is right here.”

I share this because maybe it will help another parent connect the dots faster than I did.

He is doing better but has been having some up and down days due to some sleep regression. He and Lucina are going through a lot of sleep regression this month. Lucina is waking up every other night it feels like from nightmares and has a hard time going back to bed. I even contemplated buying her a full-size mattress, so I don’t have to lean over a toddler bed for three hours. It’s tough but all I can do is hang in there for them.

As for sister during week five, she was busy doing what she does best, crafting and getting into all the things. She really loves doing crafts and giving her brother hugs and kisses when he is upset.

Week 6

Routine! Week six for us was all about getting back into a routine. We had our spring break and then another week off for survival. Getting back into a routine was much needed for all of us. I can sit here and say we need it because of AJ but that would be a lie. My family thrives off a schedule and a purpose. Lucina hates free days because she likes to keep herself busy.

AJ had an easy time getting into the swing of things. We were able to get about five sheets of schooling done throughout each day and Lucina was able to get her 1-1 time with mom. AJ is very much into a cluster phase right now and I am okay with that. Clusters are his comfort and control.

He usually brings out the clusters or puzzles when he needs structure. Right now, it’s a Lion King puzzle and Chicka Chicka Boom Boom piles. He also brings out the clusters when he is trying to regulate big things, like his emotions. I see it as doing something that relieves anxiety; for me that’s picking up the house, for others that could be running, painting, etc. AJ just finds comfort and structure in “organized messes” I like to call them lol.

Teletherapy

Let’s talk about therapy during this pandemic. Many parents are dealing with distance learning/teaching but what some forget is that special needs families are also playing the therapist role on top of instruction time. I thought it would be hard, but I am enjoying the 1-1 time with AJ and seeing what he is capable of.

AJ is a master manipulator. He will perform differently for each person once he learns what he can get away with. When he is home, he hardly shows me his skills that he does in school or therapy that I hear about. Now that he is home all the time and we are doing teletherapy, I am starting to see everything he is capable of and learned that I help and intervein way too much! I always have to pull myself back from wanting to help him. It’s the mom in me I guess.

So teletherapy isn’t going to be a fit for everyone and that’s okay. Luckily, we found the trick to get AJ working. His therapist is giving him activities that are based off Eric Carle and Bill Martin Jr. books (those are his favorite). AJ gets so excited to see his book on screen (a good visual stim for him) and can’t wait to recreate things from each page.

The therapy we are focusing on via teletherapy is occupational therapy; online speech wouldn’t be useful since AJ needs a lot of help during those sessions.

Homeboy is cutting, gluing, utilizing both hands, using fine motor skills and listening to multistep directions. This is A LOT to ask of a kid who has weak hand control and low fine motor functions. If it were an activity that he had no relationship with or interest in, it would for sure be pulling teeth. Since the therapy sessions are based around his book collection, he doesn’t realize all the great work he is doing. He is more focused on the end result to see it next to his book for comparison.

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Another great thing I am seeing is growth in his patience level. AJ can get easily flustered and push things back. I fully expected this because 1. All of this is new and 2. Who likes working from home? To my surprise, AJ is taking his time and redoing steps trying to do things perfectly (that can be an issue sometimes). I do think it’s important to add that I let him get up and do a victory run when he does something great and is excited. It’s not the best idea to force a child to sit, not move and work for 30minutes on a screen at six years old lol.

Moms Survival  

So how am I surviving all of this? One day at a time! I would say with a nice cup of coffee every morning, but I am trying hard to slow down on that. I just ordered some teeth whitening stuff because the coffee is not being nice to my smile. I joke around that 28 is just tearing me up. It could be the stress, but I break out all the time now and I feel like my skin is awful right now. I am sure it’s just me being dramatic but hey, I’m allowed to be lol.

I am also having sanity breaks. Today I made the kids play in their rooms until 8am. They usually are out and about by 7am asking for food, drinks, snacks, fighting over the same toy – you name it. I needed a morning to just lay in bed with no little hands or voices bugging me; I am not ashamed to admit that, and neither should you. Take that sanity break however you see best.

While jugging the kids, I also had to deal with yard and dog drama these past weeks. I paid some people to clean our roof and cut our yard. It was all good until our neighbors notified me that the county does not pick up loose yard debris. That led to me calling the people back to bag up all the leaves they put by my ditch, costing more money. Of course, the trash people did not take the bags and when I called, the lady very rudely told me burn the leaves and branches. I was so irritated.

I got lucky and one of Joe’s buddies came to move all thirteen bags (yes, 13!) to our little trailer. I have to go out there this week to move all the branches to the back or side of the house. I refuse to spend more money on the yard.

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Now to the dog drama. If you remember, a few blogs ago Lexi had an ear infection and we dropped a ton of money at the vet. Well, her ear infection didn’t resolve and when I took her back (during a pandemic none the less!) her right ear had a bacterial & yeast infection and her left ear had a yeast infection. I have to go back next week for her follow up. Out of all the dogs she is our most vet prone one. I really don’t know why she gets ear infections.

Next week

Next week, which is tomorrow, I have an IEP meeting for AJ via telephone. That should be interesting. I will be sure to let y’all know how that goes. I am also going to see if I can arrange respite so I can go outside and clean the disaster of a yard. Don’t worry, our respite provider knows how I am with the kids and has been social distancing before providing care.

The kids also start speech again and it will be Lucina’s last week of distance learning for her school. She is going to be so bummed when the projects stop coming and her not so creative mom has to take charge of that lol. I’m sure I will be on Pinterest or order some sort of giant craft box off of Amazon.

I will try to stay on top of the weekly blog for y’all, but I never know what the week holds for me. With that said, until next blog friends ❤ Stay Healthy!