Hey everyone! First off, long time no “see!”
I know I haven’t written a blog in such a long time, so let’s do a quick update.
Lucina is now three and AJ is seven! AJ went through a month of teeth just falling out left and right, Joe has been working like a mad man, and I have been here in the middle making sure everyone is where they need to be, fed and happy.
Lucina’s speech journey is going well, and she is almost at an age-appropriate level. They work on her articulation struggles and her conversational skills in speech. She does have a late birthday, so no public school for her yet. By the time she is in class, I wouldn’t be surprised if she is bored from knowing the material or tries to be the teacher helper. Our wallet disagrees but man, we are so thankful we can afford a morning school for her in the meantime.
AJ is currently going to school in person. We decided around November that once the holidays were over, we were going to send him back to in person learning vs virtual. He was doing good, but towards the end he didn’t have that motivation to work at home and was burnt out. If you think about it, the schoolwork was invading his safe home space and he was not about it anymore. Thankfully, he adjusted well going back to class. His class size is smaller than last year, and I want to say it’s all boys, so it’s a bromance group of kids learning together lol.
In between all of that, the kids have had their good and bad weeks. Overall, they are doing well and still tolerate each other 9/10. They both have entered this “I’m grown” phase and love to slam their bedroom door. I made a joke that the doors will be coming off and they are getting Mexican blankets as doors. I was kidding of course, but I definitely would make it happen if I needed to #pettymom.
Ok, so let’s get to some exciting news that I’ve been meaning to share for a few days. AJ VERBALIZED WORDS!
Talk about an exciting update! Ever since AJ was little, he has been behind in verbal output and is considered nonverbal. I know the word nonverbal doesn’t sit right with some in the Autism community, but for the sake of writing this out, that’s the term all of the doctors told me at the time. Anyway, AJ has been in speech therapy since he was one year old. It wasn’t until he was five that he was diagnosed with Apraxia. I will put links down below that you can click to read more on that, but generally speaking, his brain has a hard time shooting the right signals that would help him form and vocalize his response.
We could ask him a question and when it comes down to expressing himself verbally, there is a misfire from his brain to his mouth that makes it difficult and many times impossible for him to produce the mouth movements to form his words. Of course, this is just me paraphrasing, but again, I’ll put links down below for the correct medical explanations. There are also adults with Apraxia on Instagram that are very informative; do a quick search of the word and they will pop up.
From what AJ’s therapists told me, Apraxia can be a difficult diagnosis that comes with some hard work, so generally a lot of observation is done before a diagnosis. This was the case for us at least. AJ was thought to be apraxic around the age of four based on observations in speech but didn’t receive a diagnosis until five years old. When it comes down to working on verbal speech, we (myself & husband) work with AJ by breaking down words accompanied with hand placements around the mouth.
So, for a “P” sound, I will say the sound with my pointing finger up to my mouth (kind of like the placement we do with the pointing finger when we tell little kids to “shh”) so I can feel the physical movements my lips are making and feel the air output that is taking place. Then I will have AJ try and mimic me doing the same. Think of it as learning to produce sounds with every sense of touch and feel the mouth makes. I have to shout-out Kate from Finding Coopers Voice because it is from her page that I learned just how to approach speech with AJ at home. Yes, AJ gets speech in school and in private therapy, but I know that they don’t focus solely on verbal output.
I will say that I don’t either, but I am the main one who initiates this sort of practice. AJ could not verbalize one word and I will be just as proud of him as I was yesterday. He has his AAC Device and knows a few modified ASL signs. As long as my son gets his needs across, I am happy. That doesn’t mean I am not going to push his learning here and there though; I just don’t hound him down on it. I’d never force him to sit and practice nonstop when it comes to verbal output. His timeline overrides any timeline that I imagine or whatever developmental pediatricians tell me.
My biggest advice would be to listen with your eyes. Everyone communicates without words daily; we are just so enabled to only hear verbal output, that we become blind to the beautiful communication that is taking place around us. This can be said for everyone, not just those with loved ones who have special needs or are medically complex. Look at their gestures, where is their gaze going, enter that field of vision and discover everything that is in front of you.
Ok, back to the story of AJ verbalizing words. As y’all know, I am that mom. The one who takes hundreds of photos and videos of her kids on the daily. Is it a little much? Yea, sure but I don’t care. Their dad and close family members miss a lot of their daily living, so capturing them (kids) is my way of sharing our memories with our loved ones who are not physically with us.
Well, I was chilling on the recliner soaking in a moment of quiet when AJ came and plopped on me. He is a full teen who hardly likes to cuddle, so I pulled my camera out hoping to snag a nice picture or video while I had the chance. I knew he wanted a snack, because when doesn’t he? So, I just had the phone rolling and asked him to say cookie. His AAC device wasn’t around, and I know he can produce approximations, so I wanted him to “work” for that Oreo. I would have accepted the ASL sign for cookie or the “C” sound, but to my surprise he said the actual word! I was so caught off guard and excited. I asked him again with the video still going and sure enough, he verbalized it a second time!
I’m hype and taking advantage of the moment, so I decided to ask him to say mom, dad and sis. He worked hard and you could tell by his facial expressions that he was sounding them out in his head, then making the verbal combinations to say the words. It was glorious!
Does this mean I’m going to make him verbally say words now? No way. I plan to boost his confidence any time he does, but I am not going to force him to use verbal output as I know it takes a lot of energy for him. I will continue to encourage him to communicate in whichever form he is feeling comfortable with, as long as he is communicating safely.
At the end of the day that’s all that matters to me; eliminating frustration and encouraging the use of tools that help him get his needs, thoughts and wishes across. Will he hit a growth spurt of speaking overnight? Probably, probably not, who knows. We live a day at a time here. I also don’t like getting stuck on something; I don’t think it’s healthy. If I were to get stuck on one way, in this case pushing for verbal output of full words, it would hinder me from helping AJ grow in a way that he might find better.
I know I have been slacking on blogs, but I just wanted to write this up, share it, and give this achievement a forever home on our website. I do want to blog some more, but I know it won’t be an everyday thing as life is super hectic right now. I like to say we live in seasons. Right now, our season is B.U.S.Y. With that said, be sure you are following me on our Instagram and/or Facebook. I always share little posts there since its faster than sitting down and typing up a blog. Thank you for sticking around and sharing this achievement with us!
❤ Until next blog – Suhay
Links on Apraxia
- https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/childhood-apraxia-of-speech/symptoms-causes/syc-20352045
- https://www.nidcd.nih.gov/health/apraxia-speech
Finding Coopers Voice
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