April is the month of Autism Awareness and/or Acceptance depending how one prefers to advocate. I wanted to write this blog because the web will be flooded with perspectives and experiences from all walks of life.
You will read things from someone who is just starting the journey, someone who has been in acceptance for years and has a great routine, amazing therapist and educator perspectives, someone who is in a buffer zone of moving from one phase of life to another etc. It doesn’t matter the topic of discussion, we as people express our thoughts based on the phase of life we are currently in. That does not mean someone who sees things differently is wrong or unjust, they are just in a different phase with a different light.
I say this because as much joy that can be found, the autism world can be equally brutal. There are those who are pro ABA, against ABA, pro public school vs homeschooling, those who see vocational skills as a priority. Light it up blue, prefer red, identity first vs person first language. Prefer April be known as Autism Acceptance, not Awareness month. Love the puzzle piece, hate the puzzle piece and embrace the infinity sign, you get the picture.
What saddens me is that it’s almost like mini wars happening daily for each topic. It shouldn’t be that way. This month when reading and learning from amazing stories, keep an open mind and heart. By no means am I saying to be a push over if you are disrespected because we know my full momma bear will come out.
I really believe that everyone should be able to gather their thoughts and beliefs and that be respected. That goes for them respecting different beliefs as well. I learn so much from friends and pages that I follow who all have different perspectives. Some topics that are core to them are not core to me. I still learn and observe to see how I can help AJ in different ways that I might not have thought of. I prefer to be a well-rounded individual and try my best to give AJ a well-rounded selection of ways he might find helpful; who am I to limit his scope because of preconceived notions I may have?
At the end of the day, that’s all everyone wants. We all want our loved ones or oneself to thrive and live a life that makes them happiest. That happens when we ditch the mini wars on lingo preferences and perspectives and focus on learning, observing, sharing, and implementing ideas from others in a way that benefits one’s family best. If you find something that is just absolutely genius and amazing, credit the family when sharing it with others.
Anyway, I guess I am just pushing for focus of conversation in the Autism community to shift from mini wars to advocating for oneself and/or loved ones (especially locally) and sharing your experiences. That has the biggest impact. Advocating in the now to the local community ideas on inclusion, safety, awareness, and acceptance. We can have it all. I know it’s easier said than done, but just imagine the progress we would have! It starts with one person.
If you have a relative or family friend and want to be of help, just ask them what you can do to help them best. That could be providing an hour of respite care so they can grab a coffee, just sitting in the living room and socializing, tag teaming at public events so they can try new things with an extra set of eyes or just simply engage as you would normally and lend a friendly hand in whatever best fits the current situation.
I have been through many phases regarding my sons Autism Diagnosis, life experiences and the month of April. I have been weighed down by life when things like self-harm behavior was an everyday occurrence, ecstatic when “little things” happened for him, inspired to share our stories after seeing others do so, to now where April doesn’t feel extra special or extra heavy. We are comfortable and nestled into life right now.
I’d love to be like some awesome friends I know who hardcore advocates with so much to offer but I still have a lot to learn. I feel like my role in life is to shine light on everyday life, regardless of what month it is. I will most likely share specific stories from my perspective as AJ’s mom and his journey, but that isn’t anything different from what I try to do when time allows.
Even though I feel nestled and content, the reality is the Autism community gets the most attention this month out of the entire year. I wish that wasn’t the case and others are inspired to learn daily from the multitude of individuals in this community.
My goal one day is to learn all the ins and outs and be a legit advocate in terms of laws and resources, then to spread that knowledge to my community, family, and friends in ways that helps them understand. As much as I’d like to be there now, I am not. My current phase and priority is helping the kids adjust to their dads work schedule and a new sibling.
Life is hard, special needs parenting is hard, heck, just being an adult in this world is hard; so, pass on feeding energy to the trivial stuff and go full speed on spreading whatever awareness and tips you have, especially to your local community. There will be those who are open to learn and are so embracing it’s a breath of fresh air! You never know who you are inspiring!
I know I haven’t written much because life has been hectic here, but I do hope I serve as a person one can learn little tips from and feel less alone when I do write and share. Happy April friends! I can’t wait to read all the fun, deep, and inspiring stories this month and every other day of the year. Thank you to my family and friends who have been embracing, encouraging, interested to learn and who just love my family for who we are. That is the biggest blessing.
Until next time, Suhay.
RAISING OPPOSITES 